Transcript:

Are you thinking about quitting writing altogether? Ready to throw in the towel because this strange craft of writing is just too dang hard, exhausting, upsetting, or a horrible combination of negative emotions? You’re not alone in feeling this way. Not only is it an idea most writers have at one time or another, some even throughout their entire writing career, but the percentage of writers who actually quit writing is also staggering, between 80-95%, according to various sources.

As a writing coach, English teacher, and writer, this is an upsettingly high number, especially when you think about all the people who started writing because they genuinely had a wonderful or thought-provoking story to tell. So many of the writers who quit, some of whom I’ve known in real life, had a true passion for writing; they had a writer’s soul. But the work, the industry, the self-doubt, the criticisms, and the expectations all became too much for them. And as a creative and an educator, seeing people give up on their passions is truly tragic for me.

So in today’s video, I want to explore the reasons why writers quit, whether it’s due to isolation, invisibility, or exhaustion, and the myth of talent vs. the reality of endurance that the craft of writing requires. I also want to help people who have quit or are thinking about quitting to reevaluate that decision, to help them acknowledge that quitting was not a failure, but rather an indication of unmet needs. Nearly every writer I’ve worked with has had this little voice in their head whisper at one time or another that they’re not cut out to be a writer, and I’m here to fight that little voice, to tell it to shut up and sit down and really help you move forward in your writing journey.

Hi, I’m C. Sloan Lewis and this is A Literary Life. Welcome to my channel!

Let me start by saying, “You can do this.” Just because you’re struggling, or have been rejected by agents or publishers, or have been torn to shreds by critique partners, doesn’t mean you aren’t cut out for this. There are so many variables as to why those things happen, and your writing is just one of those variables. When it comes to outside comments and critiques, there are a couple of important things to keep in mind:

1. Every reader approaches a text with their own biases, experiences, and preferences. In a critique group, I’ve had people say my writing is unimaginative, while others said they felt fully immersed in my world, and still others said they really wanted to like it but couldn’t quite get into it, all about the same piece in the same moment.
2. If you write well for your specific audience, it is an absolute guarantee that people outside your audience will not enjoy it, and yes, even hate it. People who love Colleen Hoover will not enjoy George RR Martin, and vice versa. As my pappy used to say, “Different strokes for different folks.”

The Myth of Talent vs. the Reality of Endurance

So, let’s talk about the big misunderstanding that people have around creative endeavours: talent is a myth. For some reason, especially in writing culture, but the same is true for many types of creative forms, talent has become overemphasised. Writers tend to get it in their head that they either “have it” or they don’t. And yes, some people are more naturally inclined for aspects of writing, whether it was something they were born with or something they developed early in life.

For instance, my critique partner is super observant, and because of this, she writes incredible descriptions. I, on the otherhand, notice very little around me until someone points something out, so I’m naturally pretty gosh darn awful at descriptions and have to work a lot harder to get it right. But I can still get it right. It just takes more time, drafts, and thinking.

That’s why endurance, rather than talent, is actually the key to becoming a successful author or creative in any medium. You have to have patience and emotional resilience to get to where you need to be. And because no one talks about this, when a writer realizes they aren’t meeting the mark with something in their writing, dialogue, let’s say, they think that the struggle to write realistic dialogue true to their characters is a clear sign that they are not cut out for this.

But that’s not how this works. Writing is a craft, which means it takes many, many hours of practice. I have a journal that is full of random descriptions of trees and other foliage because I needed to get good at describing visuals. For my writers who struggle with dialogue, I have them read plays, eavesdrop on people, and write conversation after conversation to help them improve that skill.

When I meet writers in the wild, though, they have no idea that I’ve sat in front of a tree and written about like I’m drawing a still life — how could they possibly know? And that’s why writers struggle and quit as much as they do compared to other creatives because they rarely, if ever, see the progress of other writers. When you’re only seeing a finished novel, even as a beta reader, the progress is invisible.

And when you’re a new writer, working on a big project for the first time, chances are you don’t receive feedback as you write; you end up having to wait until you’ve poured all that you have into this project, only to hear from others that it misses the mark. That’s crushing. I know; I’ve been there. And yes, I wanted to quit after that. It was only through sheer determination and a bit of masochism that I continued, but there have been many times I haven’t written anything for months on end because of that very reason.

When we reach the point of struggle, especially when we’re not sure how or what to improve upon, our brains do this wicked thing by misinterpreting our struggle as proof that we lack talent. But what nearly every writer I have ever encountered, including myself at times, doesn’t understand is that if you are struggling, you are engaged in your work, and you are growing, whether you can see the progress in real time or not.

Reason #1 Writers Quit: Isolation

All of the struggles within our craft can feel like impossible mountains to climb, mainly because writing is a mostly solitary activity. As I mentioned earlier, we rarely see the progress of other writers, which is why I love following writers online who post about their process. But even so, like with all social media, we only see snippets, often the best snippets, of what is really going on.

This is why it is so important for writers to be a part of a community. Finding a writers group or workshop, a critique partner, joining a Discord server, or some other online community where you can really get into the nitty-gritty of your process with other writers. You might have to shop around; not every group or partner is equal, but finding a home for yourself as a writer is so important to help you stick with it and meet your goals.

Now, if you can’t find other writers to build a community with, that doesn’t mean you have to be alone. Your spouse, parents, friends, coworkers, and siblings could be great supports for you, especially if they are avid readers. As long as you’re able to answer the questions, “Who do you talk to about your writing honestly?” and “Do you feel seen as a writer, or at least tolerated?” then you’re in a good spot. And if you can’t, it’s time to seek out those people if you want to keep your craft alive.

Reason #2 Writers Quit: Invisibility

Not only can writing feel really isolating, but it can also make you feel invisible, even when you try to put your work out there. I’ve felt this on occasion with my YouTube channel, especially on videos I worked really hard on with fewer than a hundred views. I’ve also felt it when I’ve submitted short stories or poems to publications to hear nothing back. If you haven’t felt this with your creative work, I’m pretty darn sure you’ve felt it when trying to get a job. It’s a terrible feeling, and it makes you ask, “Why do I even bother?”

Let’s face it, it takes a long time to write a book, script, graphic novel, or even a short story. Throughout the process, we don’t get any recognition for our efforts and growth, and living in a results-oriented society, if the draft or even the final product we present isn’t “perfect” (which I put in hard quotes), all our work up to that point gets dismissed or ignored. And that puts us in a state of looking back at our work instead of looking forward because we are so focused on what we did “wrong.”

But as the old adage says, “it’s the journey, not the destination,” and you need to find the meaning in your writing throughout the process. Because writing is meaningful, just the very act of it, even long before you make it visible to others. Just because not many people are engaging with it once you do put it out into the world, doesn’t mean it sucks. Just like with getting feedback, there are many reasons why your work might not be getting any attention, and your writing is only one variable. For instance, the algorithm can be a real jerk about hiding your work sometimes.

Reason #3 Writers Quit: Emotional and Mental Exhaustion

Not only are writers faced with isolation and feeling invisible, but their work requires them to be extremely vulnerable, accept a wide array and frequent criticism, improve constantly and hone their craft, and compete quietly with an unknown but definitely large number of writers. That’s a ton of mental exertion, and that’s before we even get to the emotional burden caused by self-doubt, self-loathing, despair, confusion, stress, anxiety, and a plethora of other heavy, negative emotions. And a lot of those emotions, especially things like self-doubt, compound over time. A lot of writers I’ve worked with have come to me in the middle of a downward spiral, and we have to work to get them stabilised before any writing can get done.

The emotional and mental exhaustion these things cause is a one-way ticket to burnout. Then, when writers reach a state of burnout where they literally cannot sit down and make the words come out of their fingers, they think something is inherently wrong with them. There’s not. They just need a ding-dang break.

Burnout is so insidious, especially because it can look different for different people, and if you do not treat it, it stays with you indefinitely. So if you are experiencing burnout, there are two things you need to keep in mind:

1. Everyone experiences burnout, and it’s way more common with people pursuing their passions because they are able to push themselves past the breakingpoint into burnout.
2. Burnout is not a lack of discipline or a lack of ability; it is a deep state of exhaustion and almost always a sign of unmet emotional, mental, or even physical needs.

If you’re in this place, give yourself grace. Take a month off from your writing and get serious about self-care. Try a new skill, read something easy and exciting, or take up a new form of exercise. Your writing will be there waiting for you when you’re ready to come back to it.

Speaking Back to the “You’re Not Cut Out for This” Voice

Let’s address that little voice (or quite possibly loud voice) in your head that says things like “I’m not cut out for this,” “why do I even bother?” and “I’ll never be good enough.” This voice is a lying liar of lies, and if I could pull it out of your head and shoot it in the face, I would. Unfortunately, I can’t — so I guess I have to take the more peaceful route and give you tools to work against it.

You need to understand that voice is solely based on self-doubt and insecurity. It is something that your brain picked up through comparisons and unrealistic expectations, either set by you, people, society or all three. In addition to being a liar, it’s also an idiot. It doesn’t understand that struggles are signs of growth, not disqualification or failure.

The truth of the matter is that if you want to be cut out for writing, you can get there. In many ways, you are already there, even if you’ve barely written anything yet. The tools are inside you, and through writing, you will hone them. It doesn’t feel easy because it’s not supposed to. Even prolific writers, like Stephen King, acknowledge that they struggle with their writing from time to time. But while it’s not easy, getting to where you want to go is fairly simple: you keep returning to the page or computer, over and over again, even if it’s imperfectly, even if there’s a lot for you to learn.

But that’s all from me today. If you would like more content to support you in your journey as a writer or even a creative, be sure to subscribe. If you enjoyed this video and felt like you’ve gotten something out of it, be sure to give it a thumbs up, which helps other writers find my channel.

You’ve got some writing to do, so I’ll see you in the next video. Ta-ta!