Our personal beliefs about who and how capable we are tend to be shaped by the communities we belong to. Up until this year, I was in communities where I was the strongest writer. I felt pretty damn good about my writing skills. Then I joined a writing group and started putting my writing out into the world.

And let me tell you, I was a little delusional…

But that’s not to say I’m a terrible writer. My skills are just a bit more adolecent than I realized. I can create strong imagery, show characterization through reactions and dialogue, and develop strong worlds and characters. On the otherhand, my narrative voice is weak. I switch POVs, create emotional distance with the wording, and add irrelevant information with things like backstory and character movements.

While I’ve always understood that a person’s writing skill is ever evolving and can never be truly mastered, I thought I was getting up there in skill level. I wasn’t. Not really. But while this may sound like a discouraging idea, I’m actually pretty pumped up about it.

What excites me most is knowing where I actually stand. Before joining writing communities, it was just my writing and the books I read. I didn’t truly understand how far away I was from reaching the level of writing like Patrick Rothfuss, NK Jemisin, or Neil Gaiman. But now, I do.

Getting the feedback I have (particularly from one generous and brutally honest soul) has given me a clear list of writing concepts I need to work on. I can see the road I need to travel before me. It’s a long, arduous road, but at least I know where the heck I’m going.

People often get discouraged about their skill level because of the comparison trap. “S/he has already mastered those skills, made those accomplishments, etc. Why haven’t I yet? There must be something wrong with me…” Even if you say or hear those words in your head directly, you still feel them. Your self-confidence dwindles; your despair grows.

There’s nothing wrong with you. You need to understand this. While your path may look the same as theirs, it’s not. And even if it was, you wouldn’t turn around if you realized you plug the wrong address into your GPS and found the trip was ten miles longer than you had anticipated. If you did, the destination wasn’t worth drive toward in the first place. It’s the same for our goals.

If you’re not where you want to be, I want you to take a moment. Breathe in deeply and let it out slowly. Now, keep moving forward. Accept where you are on the road your traveling. Put one foot in front of the other.

You got this.